when i was in 7th grade, i had a science teacher who would give really easy tests. i would finish them in 10 minutes, then spend the rest of the period drawing ninjas all over the paper. i always told him to circle all 200 in red pen, and he did. one day, i decided to fuck him over by only drawing 199. when i got the test back, he’d written “you devil-spawn” on the top.
The temp controls in my fridge are the same as the ones in my heart
"youve got male!" the computer beeps. you turn around and see that out of nowhere a brand new boyfriend has appeared. computers truly are quite amazing
i only accept apologies in cash
Kesha got out of rehab, cut her hair, unfollowed Dr. Luke, changed her artistic name to Kesha Rose, and updated her twitter image, bio and header
I can feel the comeback in my bones